How Do I Know My Story Passed Muster?

For the second time this week, I've fielded the same question from two friends who are new to reporting and/or freelancing:

"I sent my story to my editor yesterday and have not heard anything back about it. Should I be worried that it's not good enough?"

OK. Let me say this as simply as I can:

No news is good news.

In other words, it doesn't matter if you're writing for a wire service where the story will be published as soon as possible, or for a magazine where the story won't see the light of day for another two months.

If you don't hear anything from the editor, your story is perfect.

Writers have a difficult time with this.

By our nature and personality, we thrive on positive feedback. Now, you might say to me, "Heidi, most people like positive feedback."

Um. No. Not like we do. Think about it. You get a little zinger every time you see your byline in print, don't you? I mean, I've been in this business for more than 20 years, and I even show my CHILD my byline when I get a magazine in the mail.

We LOVE the recognition we get for a well-written story.

But here's the thing:

Ironically, in an industry where everyone likes to get an atta-girl or atta-boy, those who are in power will not dispense praise.  If your story is stellar, you will NOT hear a peep from an editor.

Your pat on the back is to be published, plain and simple.

That's your reward.

If there's something WRONG with your story ... if the editor doesn't like the way you phrased your lead ... or the way you organized it ... or has a question about a source's quote ....

You WILL hear something IMMEDIATELY.

This also happens to be an industry where NEGATIVE feedback is rife. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, I hate it as much as you do, but this is the cold, hard reality. You will ALWAYS get wrist-slapped within seconds from an editor reading your beautiful prose if something is amiss.

So I want you to do one thing for me:

The next time you send in a story, don't sit by your email account and wait for a message that says, "THIS WAS THE MOST AMAZING STORY I'VE READ IN MY ENTIRE CAREER OF EDITING! YOU ARE A GENIUS! I LOVE YOU! WRITE FOR ME AGAIN! PLEASE PLEASE DON'T WRITE FOR ANYONE ELSE!"

Not going to happen.

Not.

Send your story, stop biting your nails and just know that when that magazine comes in the mail and you see your byline on an untouched story ... you did exceptionally well.

Reward yourself with that glass of wine, that bite of Godiva, that succulent bubble bath, that new pair of shoes ... however you wish.

Because the only person you're going to hear praise from ... is yourself.

Be confident that you did a good job and thank your stars that you didn't hear a peep from the editor until your eyes rested on your name in print.

If you really want to be lavished upon ... get a dog.

Covering the Tragedies: Batman and Colorado

If you're like me, you woke up to news this morning about the shooting spree in the Colorado movie theater at the showing of the latest Batman movie.

But you might be surprised at my first thought. Rightly so, many other people would think, "How tragic, how awful, how senseless ...."

My first thought?

"Thank goodness I wasn't the reporter who got the midnight call to get out of bed and cover that story."

I will never miss covering those tragedies.

Unfortunately, I was usually the first one tapped for them. I had one summer in Philadelphia as an AP reporter where we had four different house fires in which children died. For a few months after that, I had repeated nightmares about those fire scenes. Those stories always affected me on a very deep and visceral level, and regardless of whether it was a house fire, a murder scene .... and in one case, a shooting spree like this one, only at Penn State University .... I cursed under my breath when I was tasked to cover it.

"But Heidi, I send you because you always come back with gold," one of my silver-tongued editors said when I once tried to protest.

I got to thinking about it, and I realized she was right, but it wasn't because I went into those stories gleefully. In fact, it probably was because I related so well to the victims and their families that I did hit the jackpot on quotes and details no other reporter unearthed.

Here are a few things I did:

I saw the victims as real people. I never viewed them as a "story," or as my ticket to a byline on the front pages across America. They were people who had experienced a tragedy, and it was my job to give others a window into it. My only motive was that in doing so, it might raise awareness about how things like this could be avoided in the future.

I come from a community of conservative Christianity, and I can tell you that my decision to become a journalist rattled a lot of friends. They disagreed with it because from their point of view, telling stories like this exploited others. I've never seen it that way. If I've had to cover a child abuse story, for example, I see it as shining a light on the actions of perpetrators and raising awareness of the plight of the innocents. If these things are not discussed and flayed for scrutiny, what hope is there of change?

I apologized to the victims for being there. The last person they wanted to see was a reporter. The first words out of my mouth at every scene were, "I'm sorry that I have to ask you this, and I know you probably don't want to talk to me. But I wonder if you would take a few minutes to answer my questions about what happened here."

Only one person ever said no.

And when she did, I walked away, waited at the end of the street for the police to come by and begged them for details. They gave me every single detail that no one else had because I'd treated the victim with respect. No other reporter had done that, they said.

And no, I wasn't manipulating people with my questions. I gave them the option of turning me away, and if things got to be too much for them, I often didn't use the material. The editors never knew that, but the stories were still golden and crystallized beautifully.

I put myself in the victims' shoes. I never covered a tragedy where I didn't imagine myself going through what the victim had just experienced. And then I just let them talk. I just looked into their eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And I was. And it was heart felt. And they knew it.

Often when the interviews were over, we'd hug and cry. I never apologized for that and still don't.

When you've been assigned something like this, stop thinking about your ego and your name in lights.

Be a human being.

And give people the space they need to tell you the story they need to tell.

I promise, you'll leave each experience enriched and changed for the better.

Armchair Quarterbacking Piers Morgan with Robert Blake

A good friend of mine has been preparing to cover her first big event as a reporter -- Comic-Con in San Diego. I've been coaching her on interview tactics ... dealing with nonplussed interviewees, extracting difficult information, deftly stepping around landmine questions .... you get the idea.

And then all of a sudden, we have Piers Morgan dealing with Robert Blake. It's as if the heavens opened, because let me tell you, friends ... if you want to see a pro at work, watch this guy. I myself have interviewed some shady characters, including the Grand Dragon of the KKK in northern Maryland when I was at the tender age of 26. But I have to say that my jaw was agape in admiration at how Mr. Morgan handled this one. I immediately sent the link to my friend, now in the throes of interviewing super heroes (poor her), as an example of how to keep your cool in the face of blatant aggression. 

(I sincerely doubt she'll get any of that at Comic-Con, but one never knows when the real Hulk will come crashing through. But I digress.) 

We rarely get a chance to armchair quarterback another journalist, but just for fun, let's play this tape and dissect Piers' performance:


Problem #1: The interviewee tries to take control of the interview, by asking the interviewer to answer a question. In this case, Robert Blake says, "You wanna get to the truth if you can. Does that mean I'm lyin' to ya?"

Solution: Answer the question with a question. In this case, "I don't know. Are you?" Morgan seizes the arena by answering that he doesn't know, and immediately asks, "Are you (lying)?" Never give your opinion to someone you're interviewing. Never. To give your own viewpoint allows them to run amok and continue to dodge your question. By saying, "I don't know," Morgan also deflects the defensiveness ... which unfortunately is rising, but that can't be helped with an irrational person.

Problem #2: The interviewee persists. Blake isn't going to let this drop. He pauses and says again, "What do you think?" In this instance, you have someone who is on the ropes but fighting back hard. His refusal to answer the question in fact points to an obvious answer in our minds, but he's going to make this as uncomfortable for Morgan as possible. Morgan responds again with, "I don't know. I think we're going to get to some questions where ..." and Blake immediately interrupts with, "Well tell me where I'm lyin', 'cause if you don't know I'm tellin' you the truth, then you must have a little scratch in the back of your head about where I'm lyin'. Tell me where I'm lyin'."

Solution: Point out the logical rationale for withholding your opinion. Then demonstrate with follow-up statements or questions why your question was necessary. Morgan rightly says, "I'm saying I've met you for what? Twenty minutes?" In other words, how would I know you're lying when I don't know you? This still keeps the question front and center in the interviewee's lap. The interviewee may continue to get angry about this, but your readers or viewers plainly see who isn't being rational here.


Blake, in fact, continues to thrash. Morgan keeps his head and asks, "Why are you being so defensive?" Brilliant. By asking this, it underscores Blake's combativeness and continues to keep the question burning brightly.


Problem #3: The interviewee accuses the interviewer of unprofessional behavior. Has this ever happened to you? It's happened to me countless times when people have tried to evade questions. In this case, Blake answers, "Because you just insulted me." Again, he's trying to knock Morgan off balance by turning around any question of blame onto the questioner, when he in fact will not answer a question of blame before him.


As he continues, he tries to play the victim. He holds up his hand in a pleading manner and says, "My skin is a little bit thin, which is why I stay away from people mostly." Here, he's trying to gain the viewers' sympathy. He continues, "I've never allowed anybody to ask me the questions that you're asking. I allowed you to do that, because I trust you."


I have to hand it to Blake. He's what I call a skilled manipulator. The most difficult state senator I ever interviewed was someone who also played the victim with me when I asked a pointed question, knowing the whole time that both he and I knew he was at fault. I've seen more than one person play what I will now coin, "The Blake Sympathy Card."


He drops his supreme trump card next: "And I woulda assumed that you and that guy in your ear would trust me. And if you don't, then we better start talking about 'The Little Rascals.'"


Solution: Give him rope to hang himself. At this point, you just have to let the person keep talking. I mean, look at that quote! It's priceless! And by not answering the question, Blake has answered the question. 


Morgan also maintains cool composure, which is essential in these interactions. The only thing that gives away his stress level? He taps the fingers of his right hand nervously on the desk. But unless you've looked at this recording more than once like I have, you'd miss it.


I'll tell you what always gave my stress level away: I blush. I can't control it, either! I feel my face get hot, and by that time, the interviewee gets this horrible smile, knowing that I'm squirming inside.


But there's good news to all of this ... if you've made it this far with a combative person, you've won. You have their words. You have their persona. You have their defensiveness. You might even have a physical threat or two (yes, I've had those anonymous notes placed on my car windshield).


But most importantly, you have the story. Tell it straight and let the readers or viewers make their own deductions.


And in the end, those deductions are all that really matter.

I've Been Given a "Sunshine Award" :-D

Well it looks like I have been given a "Sunshine Award" from my friend at "Armitage Watch!" (www.armitagewatch.blogspot.com/)

:-D

Although this has nothing to do with journalism, apparently there are 10 questions I must answer, in exchange for receiving this lovely and gracious nod. So now the tables have been flipped, and the journalist is the "interviewee."

I would be a spoiled sport if I didn't participate, so here we go!


What is a favorite childhood memory? 

Christmas mornings at my grandparents' farm in Georgia, we had fried quail for breakfast. Today, I've only been able to find quail once in a very posh restaurant ... but I can tell you it didn't come close to the quail we had after opening gifts from Santa. 

What is a real fear you have? 

Any harm befalling my child. :-(






How would you describe yourself?



I'm like a dolphin -- carefree, engaging, fun loving and trusting.


What countries have you lived in? 


Only the United States!


What is your style?



Shabby chic comfort and Ann Taylor classic.


What is your favorite breakfast food?
Sausage gravy over country biscuits.



What are some of your hobbies?




Playing the piano, reading 19th century classics, yoga, baking anything chocolate, experimenting with gourmet recipes, antiquing (when I can afford it), ventriloquism and ... I'm planning on more horseback riding when I pluck up the courage again!

If you could tell people anything, what would be the most important thing to say? You won't gain an hour by worrying. Conquer it by only looking at the 24 hours in front of you and trusting God to get you through one day. Don't look ahead any farther than that.

What is one of your passions?

 My chief passion at the moment is to raise a future "Mr. Darcy" and protect my child's mind and heart so that he grows to become a noble and true soul.

What is the one truth you have learned?

Nothing else matters but keeping God first. The rest falls into place.

  
I'm supposed to nominate other bloggers .... so here are my top picks. Check out these cool people:

http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com/
http://www.peaceforthejourney.com/
http://jetsettocarseat.blogspot.com/
http://fromasittingposition.blogspot.com/ 
http://johnjots.blogspot.com/
http://rachelashwellshabbychic.blogspot.com/
http://laney-lanesworld.blogspot.com/

The Most Important Question to Ask in an Interview

Pull up a chair, get your coffee (or bourbon, whatever your poison), and get your pencil and paper ready, because I'm about to share with you the most important question you should ever ask in an interview.

Ready?

OK, but before we get to that ....

Think about all of the interviews you've done and the most frustrating aspect to them.

If you're anything like me, it's usually the sense that even after the person finally opens up to you, you still feel like something, somewhere, is missing.

Right?

You can't put your finger on it exactly, but you just know that within that person is a goldmine of information -- something they'd really like to tell you. But for whatever reason, even if you were as gifted as a 60 Minutes interrogator, you just can't pull it out of them.

Maybe they're deliberately holding it back. Maybe they're not sure they want to tell you. Or maybe they do want to tell you, but your questions have put them off, or your mannerisms. Maybe they are just DYING to let someone know this one thing, but they don't even realize it themselves!

How do you get that piece of platinum off of their tongue?

Simple.

You ask the most important question to ask in an interview.

But before we get to that ....

First I want you to think about all of the preparation you do before an interview. Suppose you're doing an interview with ... well, let's make this really fun: Think of your favorite movie star -- someone who really floats your boat. Just to give this a little zing for me (It's my blog, after all!) ... Let's use MY favorite movie star, Richard Armitage. Now you're sitting in front of Richard, completely star-struck. And if you're a good journalist, you've done all of your homework. You've researched his career, his movies, his theatrical performances, even the voice-overs he's done for television commercials. You know his childhood best friend's name, and you even have unearthed the comfort food that his mother prepared for him when he was ill at 6 years old. (No, I haven't done all of these things! I don't have an interview with him. Yet. :-)

You come armed with your knowledge and the best-ever questions known in the entire history of journalism ....

And yet, I can tell you that you still haven't asked the most important question to ask in an interview.

Take a sip of your coffee (or bourbon -- got a Mint Julep? Good, because I'm offering pearls, here).

Here it is.

At the very end of the interview, you pack up your things. Put away your tape recorder. Shut down the videocam. Put your pencil behind your ear, and fold your notebook into the closed position.

Then say this:

"This interview has been fabulous, so thorough, in fact, that I can't think of one more thing to ask you! Thank you so much for this and for all of your time!"

The person will nod and smile and usually extend their hand and say it was nice to meet you.

And then say:

"You know what? I was just thinking ...."

Here we come to the moment of truth .......... drum roll, please .................. the most important question to ask in an interview is ....................

"Is there anything we haven't talked about or anything you'd like our readers to know that I haven't asked you?"


Now watch the person's face. Look into their eyes intently.

They will say, "No, I can't think of anything! This has been really great!"

You will turn and smile and get ready to go, and then ...

"But there's just one thing. Wait a minute."

Get your notebook out! FAST! This is the moment.

Because in this moment, you will hear the one thing they really want to tell you.

I have been in my job for 22 years. I learned this advice from my first editor, Bob Orr, at The Coatesville Record in Coatesville, Pennsylvania -- now no longer in existence -- and it only had 6,000 readers. This little newspaper, where my Mountain-Dew-guzzling editor sat behind a crusty old desk, is where I first heard this nugget of wisdom.

And Bob was right.

Every time, every single blasted time, you will get the gold -- but you have to ask the most important question to ask in an interview first.


Try it, and let me know how it works for you.

A Journalist's Life: The Observer on the Fringes

Recently a friend of mine decided to try her hand stringing for a paper and covering a local school board.

The problem was that the editor had assigned her to the school district where her children attend. A busing controversy was on the table for discussion. My friend covered the meeting and quoted parents who were against the initiative.

And if you're a journalist, you can probably guess what happened next: The people who were quoted said they never said what they said.

(We've heard that before, haven't we?)

Luckily, my friend had the backing of witnesses and also a recording. In fact, she'd quoted the folks accurately, and as you already know, they were just angry that they were spotlighted as the jackasses they really are.

Now you'd think it would stop there, but it heats up a little: These people also were my friend's friends. So right on the heels of this story, there was a birthday party ... and then following that, there were other social events .... and if you've ever covered a nasty story where everyone is throwing rocks at each other, you know the result: My friend has been dealing with some pretty nasty comments, gossip and ostracism.

As a stringer who had no experience covering local stories, it's understandable how someone could find themselves in this position. And as I've been talking to her about how to deal with it, it has brought up some introspection and revelation about myself and my career.

I discovered that I've always been an observer of life on the fringes. I started my career at age 23 and am now 47. That's 24 years of watching people. Even after I left newsrooms 12 years ago to go full-time freelancing, I never really jumped full-force into the pool of society. Maybe it was out of habit. Maybe it was out of fear. Maybe it was from cynicism that I knew people were not as they portrayed themselves. Maybe it was from simple lack of social skill development! After all, I've kept the rest of society at bay purposely.

The bottom line here is that as journalists, we can't afford the luxury of being in the world like everybody else. If you're going to cover a story, you have to remain objective. That's impossible to do if you're friends with those involved with the subject matter. Kudos to you if you've pulled this off, but face it. We're all human. Eventually, someone is going to get to you.

You may be skeptical that I have kept up this mantra for two-and-a-half decades.

But after I thought about my friend's scenario, I realized that I really have. My closest friends are those who worked alongside me in newsrooms -- or were friends of those newsroom friends. Those of you who know me might say, "Well you're a Christian. Certainly you have friends from church." Nope! I had many cases where people within churches didn't want to socialize with me because they knew I was a reporter. I had another scenario where I questioned the finances of one church where I'd gotten heavily involved and was attacked on the Internet by those members.

Whether it's by personality or the constricts of the journalist's job .... If you're thinking of getting into this profession, please know this right up front: You will see people as they are, and you are not going to be popular. If you're not okay with that, find another profession, for your own peace of mind.

And if you are ... welcome to the brotherhood that we call, "Journalist."

Red Flags When "Hiring" a Client

I consistently see an attitude of desperateness among fellow freelance writers when looking for clients. Allow me to wax Steel Magnolia on you for a moment:

Y'all. 

This grab-the-gold-first-before-someone-else-gets-it mentality is so carpetbagger. And it's beneath you.

Let me make things easy.

First of all, adopt the attitude that they're not hiring you. You're hiring them.

Call me arrogant, but it's the way I've always approached job interviews, and when I look at things through this perspective, I see things clearly.  For one thing, it rids you of that wholly unattractive stance of being the one who needs them more than they need you. And for another, it gives you strength of mind to cut through smoke and mirrors that may cloud your judgment on what working with them will be like in the future.

I've recently completed a divorce and am back "out there" among a sea of suitors. I realized that hiring a client is not dissimilar at all to dating. We all know the "red flags" we're supposed to heed when we go on a date. But how many of us apply the same rules to choosing clients?

Still scratching your beard in bemused puzzlement? OK, well at the risk of exposing too much about my personal approach to courtship, here are my guidelines to finding (and hiring) a compatible client:

Red Flag #1: They believe you're lucky to be with them, not the other way around. How do you know this? They say, "You'll get a byline" and 10 cents a word ... or worse than that, "You'll get a byline" and nothing else. If you want people to value your work, then act like a professional and demand fair compensation. Still confused about how much to charge? Go to www.writersmarket.com for a list of suggested rates, or better yet, consult the U.S. National Writers Union for theirs.


Red Flag #2: They demand exclusivity immediately. It's one thing if you've written for someone for 11 years (like I have with one of my clients), and they're willing to pay you well in exchange for you not writing for a competitor. But if someone is demanding that you sign an exclusivity agreement for a first-ever assignment? Are you sure you want to commit so early?

Red Flag #3: They don't keep their promises.  I worked for a client for a couple of years who suddenly decided they were going to wait to pay me a grand until after the story ran. I asked, "When is the story going to run?"

They didn't know.

Right.

If you do a fair day's work for a fair day's pay, it's only fair they deliver as promised. Now if you worry that by severing the relationship, you'll be back out in the cold alone .... think of it this way: If you don't kick this client to the curb, you could be missing out on someone else who will pay you on time and pay you well. Don't assume (warning: Jane Austen reference coming up) that because you're being courted by Mr. Wickham that it means Mr. Darcy isn't waiting for you to come to your senses.

Red Flag #4: They find fault with everything you do. You might be surprised to know that many writers will actually continue to write for people who insult their work, browbeat them, change their copy into an unrecognizable monstrosity and otherwise abuse them endlessly. This may sound extreme, but these editors are alive and well and seeking the next writer's jugular on which to feast. Don't become their prey. Just say no. Is it worth your peace of mind or self-esteem? Do you know what that type of person does to another one's creative output? WALK. AWAY. I make it my personal mantra to only work for nice people, and I heartily encourage you to do the same. Life is too short.

I'd put up a red flag about bad kissing but .... oh, never mind. There should be a law against putting the words, "kissing" and "editor" in the same sentence, and we are not going there.